Read Chapter Two for Free by John Smith

                                                                                                           Chapter Two



Alan McDonald had been worried about his wife Jenny Lee for years now, yes he had tried talking to her, and after all he would have failed as a husband if he hadn’t tried to talk to her, now wouldn’t he?

However he was wasting his breath, she didn’t listen to him, or anyone else either come to that, never had and never would. Alan wondered where she found her motivation; it certainly wasn’t from her youth. Jenny Lee was 50 years old, but she looked about 60 at least. Her face never was what anyone ever could call pretty, even when she was a lot younger. For a start it was covered with thousands of freckles.
At the ‘Queensland Royal Free London Hospital’ where she worked, she was hated by all her staff, and they did have a nickname for her, which did in fact suit her very well indeed. They called her, and not to her face of course, because the last member of staff, who called her ‘Wide Load’ to her face, went into her office which was located in the main kitchen, and never came out again ever. And no one has seen that person alive even to this very day.
And how did she get awarded the nick name ‘Wide Load’ well because of the size of her great big arse, and her tree trunk legs. Which anyone who unfortunately had to walk behind her, couldn’t fail to notice?
It was true to say, Jenny Lee was under a lot of pressure at the Hospital, the trust was always trying to cut the catering budget. And as it was Jenny Lee who was responsible, to feed all the patients, with a budget of just £3.00 per day, it did give Jenny Lee a massive headache. However that £3.00 per day, was not just for one meal, oh no, that £3.00 had to cover Breakfast, lunch and dinner. And two hot drinks during the day. Which was not so bad considering all they got for breakfast was a small bowl of cereal, and a slice of toast. Well if the toaster was working that was, and if it wasn’t then just a slice of bread. A hot meal for lunch and for dinner all the patients had was a small bowl of soup and a sandwich and that’s it.
This of course is good news for anyone on a diet, because whoever goes in hospital, they always come out about a stone lighter than what they were when they went in.
However this of course is no use whatsoever to old people, who at home can’t afford to buy food. Well that’s not quite true they could afford to buy food, but if they did, buy food, they would have to turn the heating off, because they can’t afford to do both. So it would be no help at all to an old undernourished person going into hospital, they would simply fade away to nothing and die.
However Jenny Lee would now be rubbing her hands together and the reason for this was, when this hospital was build, the mortuary was build right next to the kitchen. And this did save Jenny Lee McDonald a lot of money, over the years, it really had done so.

                                                                                                                  *****
    Martin the next day was cursing under his breath, bloody bus drivers. If he was late for work again this week, then Wide Load would have his balls on a platter. And if the rumours that he had heard were true, then she really would, and that would put an end to his sex life for once and for all.
The thing was Martin, or Dirty Chris either come to that, they didn’t even work in the kitchen, they were like sort of delivery staff, or porters. However when the hospital trust reorganized all of its services, then Dirty Chris and Martin all of a sudden found themselves directly beneath, and answerable to Wide Load. And she did make it clear right from the start, she was in command, and she would not tolerate, any kind of insubordination, in any shape or form. And Martin remembered being late to work even if it was the fault of the bloody bus drivers would be classed as intolerance by Wide Load. Because she could never understand why anyone would ever show up for work late?
Wide Load was aware her journey to work would take her 45 minutes. Therefore she always allowed herself an extra hour a day in case of the unexpected. Like some silly sod getting knocked off his bike, or another silly sod jumping off the platform in front of a train? And she was proud to say in all of the 10 years she had worked at the hospital she had never been late for work, not even once.
So she would then argue if she could do it, then why can’t everyone else do it as well. That way no one would ever be late to work ever again.
Martin however if he had the guts to do so, which he hadn’t, but if he had a done, he could argue. His travelling time to work was in his own time, not the hospitals time therefore the hospital or Wide Load had no right to tell Martin how to spend his own time? If however the hospital or Wide Load was going to pay Martin for his travelling time, to work, well yes then they could demand that he was travelling in that time. However Martin wasn’t paid for his travelling time, so bullocks he thought, and who could blame him for thinking that?
Martin, and to his credit did rush off his train when it pulled into Romford station, and he also rushed down the steps and out of the station and into the street and turned to his right, crossed over the road and rushed to the bus stop on the opposite side of the road. His bus the #394 was standing waiting at the bus stop, with the engine running and the doors open.
Martin reached the open doors; he also had his right foot raised up in the air, and was just about step onto the bus. However before he could do so he first heard a long loud hiss of air from the doors and the doors slid quickly shut. Leaving Martin still standing on the pavement with his right foot raised up in the air. Just as the bus pulled away from the bus stop, just for a moment Martin caught a brief glimpse of the smiling drivers black face.
“You black bastard” Martin cursed, and for two reasons really, well no actually it was for three reasons, the first one was, if Martin had been a young lady wearing a mini skirt then that black bastard wouldn’t have driven away like he did? And the second reason was if he was not going to be late for work, he was going to have to run? And the third reason was, the driver was black, in fact he was as black as the ace of spades.  
Okay agreed it was only a 15 minute’s walk from the train station, to the hospital, but if Martin had to run, that would make him all sweaty for the rest of the day. And if he didn’t run, well then he would be late, and then he would be in trouble with Wide Load.
As Martin started off at a brisk walk, he hadn’t noticed when this country of his began to lose it common sense. Twenty years ago if a man was black you would tell the truth and call him black. Even the BBC television made comedy programmes, about black men, who would be called names like ‘Black Sambo’ and ‘Black Honky Tonka’ but twenty years later some stupid idiot, and it had to be some stupid idiot in the government decided, if a man was black no one is allowed to call him black. Which anyone with any sense will laugh at, and who could blame them for that? If a man has black skin why can’t you say he has black skin, after all you can’t lie about it, can you?
However as our government is built on lies, lies, and nothing but more lies, well yes they do want us to lie as much as they do. The only trouble is of course unlike our government we, the British public have not had as much practice at lying as our untruthful government has had, over the years. But of course the dice is loaded against us whites; forget for one moment that we are white and living in our own country. A black man can look at us and call us white, and of course there is nothing wrong with that! However a white man can’t look at a black man and call him black? Am I crazy, or is our crazy government crazy?
Anyway Martin couldn’t think about it any longer, he had broken out into a sweat, but he was about to walk into the hospital, he was just hoping he could start work before Wide Load saw him?
And it must have been Martins lucky day because he had started his deliveries and as yet no sign of Wide Load.
He was pleased when he saw Dirty Chris up the other end of the corridor and heading this way. He pushed his cage up against the wall and hid behind it.
As soon as Dirty Chris drew level with Martin’s cage, Martin jumped out, pointed at Dirty Chris and said.
“Are you still here?”
Dirty Chris nearly jumped out of his skin, and if the truth be known also produced at least one good sized skid mark in his underwear.
The ‘are you still here?’ game was in fact spreading, it was invented first of all by ‘Mad Matt’ who used to work for Wide Load in the kitchen, but since he had to attend a disciplinary due to his bad sickness record, in Wide Loads office, no one had seen or heard of him since. The rules of the game were simple as you moved around the hospital and spotted an opponent the first person to point and to say ‘are you still here?’ scores a point. And at the end of the day the person with the most points wins.     
Dirty Chris kicked Martin’s cage and said.
“Oh you complete bastard, I wasn’t expecting you so early, not after our late night last night anyway?”
“Well did I score was that a hit?”
Martin couldn’t wait to ask, if he had just scored a hit, in the game, and he also couldn’t wait to ask?
“Well what was she like, did you score, and did you dip your wick?”
“Martin, really not on a first date, I’m not an animal you know, and anyway it wasn’t, a first date, but I never try to score on a first date anyway, keeps them waiting, keeps them wanting it all the more, and when I do give it to them, then the more they enjoy my 9 inch or if there’re really lucky a 10 inch erection?”
In fact neither of them did have to wait long for their first date, just 24 hours in fact, and as a new Cosmos had just opened in Romford both of them were looking forward to a slap up meal.
And neither of them suffered disappointment, even although it was a weekday evening, and as large as the place was, it was packed out. And the food, well there really was something for everyone, you name it, and it was there, and as it was a buffet you could always go back for more, and as many times as you wanted too.
And in fact Dirty Chris and Mary did, many times in fact. And the more they had to eat and drink the more they warmed to each other, and the more Mary began to wonder just what Dirty Chris would look like tied down onto her bed? And the more Dirty Chris began to wonder just what Mary’s ample naked breasts would feel like to shower with kisses?
However due to all the good food, and owing to the fact that were so late leaving Cosmos’s, by the time Dirty Chris had got Mary back to her flat it was nearly midnight. And owing to the fact that they did both have to get to work in another 7 hours or so, they both had to make do with the first date kiss. But even during that first lingering first date kiss, Dirty Chris could not resist running his hand gently over her right breast. However that is not to say that Mary did not use that opportunity to gently rub her hand gently over his already 9 inch erection? The fact that his erection was still inside his trousers, only made Mary more frustrated than ever?
As Dirty Chris walked home that night, with his erection quickly fading, his thoughts wondered to his job, or rather where he worked at the hospital. Several times he had tried to phone his mate Mad Matt, and nothing his mobile didn’t even ring. He also tried sending him a text, and nothing no reply, or anything. And the very last time he or anyone had seen him alive was when he went walking into Wide Loads office. But more to the point, no one, or no one would admit to it anyway, but no one ever saw him come out again, well not alive anyway?
He did wonder whether or not he should report it to the police, but how stupid would he sound to the police.
“My mate Mad Matt went into Wide Loads office and no one saw him come out again, well not alive, anyway?”
Rightly or wrongly Dirty Chris just assumed that the police would have a good laugh in the station that night, at Dirty Chris’s expense?
However it was true that Dirty Chris, Martin or, any of Mad Matt’s mates come to that, never quite knew how to take him? Yes it was true he would come to work stinking of booze. However whether or not that was due to the amount of booze, he had consumed the night before, or whether or not he had consumed it today, no one knew? But however what was more interesting was, what he used to say, or rather his unguarded comments? Like, when if they saw the mortuary trolley making its way down to the mortuary, carrying a dead body. Mad Matt would rub his hands together and say.
“Wow Wide Load is going to be so pleased, it won’t be leg of Lamb on the menu tomorrow it will be leg of Beryl or leg of Bert, or whatever that poor unfortunate patient used to be called?
And everyone would just smell his breath, look at him, and slowly shake their heads in disbelieve?
But now Dirty Chris was beginning to wonder if their might have been a grain of truth in what he used to say?
He also remembered a porter who used to empty the waste bins, his real name was Shane, but everyone called him Shane of the dead. The way he walked reminded everyone of a walking Zombie from the film.
It was true to say that Shane of the dead was not the sharpest knife in the draw, Dirty Chris recalled a conversation they had, not long after Shane of the dead started working at the hospital. Which went something like this?
“Hey Dirty Chris, do you know what, when I went home last night, my garden was full of crocodiles.”
“Bloody hell Shane was it, what on earth did you do?”
“Well first of all I tried phoning the police, but no one answered it. So then I phoned the zoo, they told me to feed them with corn beef, until they could come and collect them. So I did, but I only had one small tin of corn beef and they started fighting over it. And then about an hour later a man came round from the zoo in his car. But he said the zoo was full up, so he was going to take them to the local hospital. I told him that’s where I work, and I’ll watch out for them tomorrow?”
And to his credit Dirty Chris did try very hard to keep a straight face, before he asked Shane of the dead.
“But Shane isn’t it dangerous to have crocodiles wandering around inside a hospital?”
Shane of the dead thought about that for a moment, before fishing in his pocket and then taking out a small tin of corn beef he replied.
“Why do you think I’ve got this for, then if a crocodile starts chasing me I’ll just throw it this tin of corn beef?”
However it was just then that Wide Load walked down the corridor, and said.
“I don’t pay you two layabouts to stand around talking, remember less chat and more work, remember that and you will get a lot more work done?”
It was then Wide Load saw the tin of corn beef in the hand of Shane of the dead and said.
“And this I will be confiscating, after all I do have 600 hundred patients to feed, and on a very tight budget, and every little bit helps, however small. Now take this to my office and don’t you dare move from there, until I first give you permission to do so, do I make myself clear?”
“Yes sir, crystal clear sir, sorry I mean Madam, yes Madam, crystal clear Madam?”
Stammered Shane of the dead and without another word Shane of the dead went walking off to go and wait in Wide Loads office. Dirty Chris also recalled it was in fact about 5 hours later before he spotted Shane of the dead again. Now he was just coming out of the A&E department with his whole left hand bandaged up. Dirty Chris pointed at Shane of the dead and said.
“Are you still here?”
“Yes Dirty Chris but not for much longer”
“Why what happened to your hand then, are you alright?”
“Well no I’m not alright, one of those bloody crocodiles just bit off my four fingers, and I’ve just had about 40 bloody stitched. And before I can go home I have to report to Wide Loads office after everyone else has gone home.”
And Dirty Chris remembered that was the very last time he, or in fact anyone else come to that ever saw Shane of the dead, alive?”
However now Dirty Chris was nearly home and he didn’t have time to think about it anymore; those thoughts would just have to wait until tomorrow.
As Dirty Chris lay in his bed than night his thoughts drifted to his new girlfriend Mary, or Dirty Mary as he would like to call her. But before he could call her that, before he could call her Dirty Mary, she did have to earn, that title.
And he was hoping that would be the following evening, they had arranged to go for drinks in the Moon & Stars in Romford which was nearly opposite the train station, and Dirty Chris wanted to get her drunk. And who could blame him for that, he was after all a hot red blooded male?
However and unbeknown to Dirty Chris his new girlfriend was planning to do the exact same thing?
The next day at work, Dirty Chris just wanted his shift to be over, he was losing badly the score was about 6 points to Martin, 2 points to people Dirty Chris didn’t even know we’re playing, and 3 points to people dirty Chris didn’t even know what their names were? And he himself hadn’t even scored one hit on anyone.
At last, and as soon as his shift finished Dirty Chris rushed home had a shit, shower, and shave, and then rushed across town to the Moon & Stars. In fact he only just arrived about five minutes before Mary did.
Hour and a half later they were both drunk, and both feeling randy. Dirty Chris however was worried, and he told Mary that he was, after all he didn’t want to let her down, and he told her so as well.
“Well come on Dirty Chris what’s up what’s the problem, come on you can tell me anything, anything at all?”
“Well it’s just, it’s just, that, well, it’s not you, I mean, it’s me....?”
“Dirty Chris will you just shut up, I know exactly what you are trying to say?”
“Oh you do really, do you?”
“Yes Dirty Chris I do, what you are trying to say is you have had a lot to drink and you have brewers droop, well am I right?”
“Well, well, yes, yes you are right, but how did you know?”
“Because Dirty Chris I didn’t come up on the Banana boat, you may have done so, but I didn’t okay, but believe me, and you can trust me on this one Dirty Chris, no man, no matter how much he’s had to drink, has never ever, had a limp dick when I’m around, okay so don’t worry. I do have ways and means?”
“Oh dear, should I be getting worried?”
“Oh yes Dirty Chris you should be getting worried, very worried, very worried indeed?  Even when a man is so drunk he couldn’t even stand up on his own two legs I can still make his dick stand up, because you know what they say, Dirty Chris, NO PAIN NO GAIN?”
And if the truth be known, for the first time Dirty Chris did start to get a tad worried, even although he had no idea why?
Luckily Mary’s flat was in staggering distance of the Moon & Stars and as it was a second floor flat they both sort of fell up the stairs rather than climb up the stairs?
The flat consisted of a kitchen a lounge and two bedrooms and a bathroom, the door on the right led to Mary’s bedroom. As they staggered into the flat Sue, Mary’s flat mate was sitting in front of the TV just wearing a towel. After just getting out the bath not half hour since, and was she pissed at Mary?
“Oh for goodness sake Mary you know the rules, if you are going to bring someone back you must tell me, you know that, so why don’t you do it?”
“Well I didn’t Sue?”
“You didn’t what Mary?”
“I didn’t just bring anyone back, I brought back Chris, and I’m not sure he counts, does he?”
“Yes Mary he does count.”
Sue now looked at Dirty Chris and said.
“Chris I’m sorry I can’t get up in case I lose the towel, but I’m Sue, Marys flat mate, unfortunately?”
And as she said unfortunately she looked daggers at Mary. Mary however didn’t seem to notice because she now took Dirty Chris’s hand and pulled him in the general direction of her bedroom door. Sue however could not resist a comment aimed at Mary?
”Oh dear another lamb to the slaughter, but please you two I have got work tomorrow, so please try and keep the noise down, I am going to bed soon, and Mary if that means gagging him then please do so?”
Dirty Chris looked at Sue to see whether or not she was joking, however he gave up when Mary pulled him through her bedroom doorway and into her bedroom, which was pitch dark.
“Stand still.”
Mary ordered, and as it was pitch dark anyway Dirty Chris had no choice, other than to stand still.
“Now Dirty Chris I hope you don’t mind just keep still until I just slip on this blindfold? Now don’t try and take it off, because if you do you will leave me no choice I will have to handcuff you okay and punish you?”
“Well no not really it’s not okay I do need to pee it’s all those pints and shorts we had drunk?”
“Well guess what Dirty Chris we are both in the same boat, because so do I, but no one pees until I do okay, now stop whinging unless you want me to punish you?”
So with his blindfold in place Mary now almost nearly ripped off all of Dirty Chris clothes, and when he hadn’t a single stitch left on, she led him over to her double bed and ordered him to lay down on it.
It was when Mary took hold of the end of his limp dick between her thumb and forefinger, and lifted it up in the air and then let it fall down again that Dirty Chris realized just how limp it was?
“Oh dear oh dear, need a little help do we limp boy, but don’t worry I do have just the thing?”
Dirty Chris heard it before he felt it; in fact it was a sound he had never heard before, then he remembered that wasn’t quite true, he had heard that sound before, but only ever once before. And that was when he was about 10 years old. And that was when his Mother had taken him to see the circus.
The horses we’re running around in a circle around and around the outside of the ring and if they we’re too slow they we’re encouraged to go faster by the cracking of the whip.
And because he was still wearing his blindfold he could only imagine what it looked like? However he didn’t have to imagine what it felt like, well not for much longer anyway?
Because first he heard the ‘CRACK’ then he felt the sharp sting on the top of his left leg about two inches from his still limp noodle. He reached up with his right hand thinking he would protect his manhood with it. However it never got there, Mary grabbed hold of it first, and informed him.
“No, no Dirty Chris that is not a good idea, because when you do that, I do this?”
He then felt his wriest encircled with cold steal and heard the clicking sound of the handcuffs as they got tighter and tighter on his wriest. His arm was then pulled up and back over his head, and he heard the other handcuff tightened around the metal bedpost.
“See Dirty Chris that’s what happens when you try and stop me doing what I want to do?”
“I’m sorry Mary but I really do need to go pee.”
“Well guess what Dirty Chris so do I in fact, I’m bursting to go, but do you hear me complaining, no you don’t, so why should you be complaining, you just tell me that if you can?”
But before Dirty Chris could reply, ‘CRACK’ this time he felt the same sharp sting on the top of his right leg, and again only an inch away from his manhood.
And again without thinking he reached up with his other hand, and he realized too late, that was not a good idea, because Mary handcuffed that one to the opposite bedpost as well.
‘CRACK’ again went Mary’s whip, this time he felt the sharp string on his left nipple, and it was so hard it hurt like hell it really did ‘CRACK’ this time it was his right nipple, and tomorrow he was sure he would have bruises there as a souvenirs? ‘CRACK’ this time it was a direct hit on his testicles. And this time Dirty Chris did scream out in excruciating pain.
Mary dropped the whip, she had never done this before, and she had never hit a man’s testicles with the end of her whip before. She knew just how much pain a man’s testicles could generate.
“Oh my Goodness, oh my Goodness, Chris, Chris are you okay, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry really I am.”
Dirty Chris however didn’t say anything he had passed out due to the excruciating pain the whip had coursed.
“QUICKLY SUE, COME HERE OH PLEASE HELP ME I THINK I’VE KILLED HIM, QUICKLY SUE OH PLEASE H|ELP ME?”
Even sue realized this was not normal; even for Mary; she forgot about her towel and went rushing into Mary’s bedroom.
Dirty Chris was lifeless and handcuffed to the bed; Mary was kneeling down on the floor at the bedpost trying to unlock one pair of the handcuffs. But without success owning to the fact her hands were shaking so much. 
“Oh quickly Sue unlock the other handcuffs on his other hand, Oh God Sue do you think he’s dead?”
Sue looked at his chest and could see it was slowly rising and falling, so she tried to reassure Mary.
“Mary look he is breathing he isn’t dead, look he is at least, well he is breathing anyway and that is a good sign.”
Mary however didn’t look she was too busy dialling 999 on her mobile phone. By the time a paramedic had arrived Sue and Mary had unlocked the handcuffs and hidden them away in a draw. Dirty Chris was starting to moan and curled himself up into the foetus position.
“Okay girls what happened here?”
The paramedic asked, Sue and Mary however were not sure what to say, and hesitated too long, because the paramedic was getting inpatient, and again asked.
“Come on girls one of you has to talk to me and tell me what happened here?”
“I, I think he injured his testicles?”
At last Mary replied.
“Okay that does narrow it down quite a lot believe it or not, okay so how did he injure his testicles, do you know?”
“Yes, yes we were just fooling around, with a whip, is all, and I wasn’t really aiming for his testicles, I just sort of hit them by accident, and he just sort of fainted or something?”
“Well love I think if you aimed at my testicles with your whip I think I would have fainted or something as well?”
“But he is going to be okay right?”
It was just then that a two man ambulance crew arrived and asked.
”What have we got here?”
It was the paramedic who replied.
“Not sure yet could be testicle strangulation?”
The female from the ambulance crew looked at Mary, smiled and said.
“Well you didn’t make a very good job of it did you, look he is still breathing and by the sound of it moaning as well, but then what man doesn’t, pretend that he is half dead when really he isn’t?”
“But he is going to be okay isn’t he; I mean I haven’t damaged anything have I, I mean permanently?”
Mary was then eager to ask.
“Does he need to go to the hospital, do you think?”
The paramedic however answered her question with another question.
“Do you know if he has he been drinking, or taking any sort of drugs?”
“Yes, yes we had been drinking, a skin full in fact, but no as far as I know he hadn’t taken any drugs, and that’s the truth?”
The paramedic and the ambulance crew then went into a little huddle, words were exchanged, but none that Mary could hear, or if she could hear them she didn’t know what they meant, they were just medical terms.
At last the female ambulance crew member broke away from the huddle and said to Mary.
“We are going to take him in, if nothing else just to get him checked over, and just to make sure he will be able to make babies, in the not too distant future okay.”
“Can I go with him, please; is there room for me in the ambulance?”
Mary asked. After being assured there was room for her in the ambulance Mary accompanied Dirty Chris to the hospital. 
And that is how Dirty Chris landed up as a patient in his own hospital, or rather the hospital that he worked in anyway. In the end they did operate, they did have to remove one twisted testicle, however they did reassure Dirty Chris that the one remaining testicle was still in good working order and hadn’t been starved of blood well not for too long anyway?
Dirty Chris came round after the operation and found himself to be on ‘Bluebird ward’ and to say that he thought the food to be diabolical was an understatement!
For lunch he had ordered from the Menu, ‘corn beef hash’ he did think you can’t go wrong with that, but that just goes to prove how wrong a man can be?
When it arrived first of all the plate was stone cold. And by the time it had travelled half way around the ward before it got to his bed, guess what so was the food as well!
Dirty Chris looked at it trying to make out what it was? He could see one scoop of mash potato; he could also count twenty peas. No sorry that was a lie there was at least twenty five? As for the corn beef hash, he counted four small squares of, and he was guessing it was corn beef, although it was a funny colour? It was not the sort of corn beef he had ever seen before anyway? He counted about four small squares of maybe potato and it was covered by a spoonful of gravy.
When the nurse came over and asked.
“Is everything alright?”
“Well no sorry but everything is not alright, the plate was cold, what little food there is on the plate was also cold. And why was I given a child’s portion anyway?”
The nurse however ignored all of his questions, and instead asked one of her own.
“Well would Sir like a sandwich instead, I could get you a sandwich, but I will have to phone down to the kitchen, and it could take anything up to an hour to get here?”
“So do they have to make it then?”
“Oh no they don’t make them here; they buy them in, readymade.”
Dirty Chris was now looking puzzled so he asked.
If they buy them in, and they don’t have to make them here, why does it take an hour for a sandwich to travel the distance between here and the kitchen? In fact in the time we have been talking about it you could have gone down to the kitchen and collected it yourself couldn’t you?”
“Well no because I’m a nurse, and that is not a nurses job, it’s the job of the kitchen staff, however because it is an outside private company who are responsible for feeding the patients they do have a staff shortage, because the more staff they employ the less profit they make. And of course the only reason that company is here, is not to feed you ungrateful patients oh no they are here for one reason and one reason alone and that one reason is to make an obscene profit. Otherwise they wouldn’t be here, now would they?”
Dirty Chris now started to pull back the bed covers, and said.
“Well tell you what why don’t I just go get it myself from the kitchen?”
And with that he swung his legs off of the bed; however it was when his feet reached the floor that he was engulfed with unbearable pain from his one good testicle.
The nurse smiled and said.
“Does that answer your question, now be a good boy for your nurse, get back into bed, and I’ll order you a sandwich okay?”
What did Dirty Chris say, what could he say, he just wanted for the pain to go away?”
Once he was settled again in bed and once the pain had subsided he looked at the dinner menu or supper menu as they called it. They had had lunch; Dirty Chris was now looking for the dinner menu, but all he could find was the supper menu. Maybe he wondered if they called the dinner menu supper. Otherwise where was the dinner? However Dirty Chris reasoned dinner couldn’t be supper because for supper all you got was a bowl of soup and guess what another sandwich? So surly somewhere between lunch and supper should be dinner?
But no Dirty Chris had forgotten you were talking about a penny pinching private company here who was not interested in feeding patients in a hospital. Oh no they were only interested in making a profit, and they would rather make a profit than feed patients. So their motto would be, ‘Starve the Patients and make a Profit.’
                 
                                                                                                               *****
It was that evening after work that Dirty Mary as Dirty Chris had now started to call her came to visit him. His first question was.
“Did you bring me any food?”
Dirty Mary laughed and replied.
“Ah don’t they feed you then big boy?”
“Well yes if you call a sandwich for lunch and a sandwich with a bowl of soup for dinner, well then yes they do feed us.”
“Chris stop telling lies they must have given you more that surly?”
“Well no because for lunch it should have been ‘corn beef hash’ and it was, however I couldn’t eat it, on account of the fact it was nearly stone cold so I couldn’t eat it. So the only other choice was a sandwich, which is why I’m in a British hospital in the year 2012 and starving hungry. However and as it’s your fault that I’m in here anyway, there is a Pizza Hut just over the road, so you could go and get me a pizza, please?”
And of course Dirty Mary couldn’t argue about that, now could she. While she was gone, Dirty Chris had time to think; at least while he was in hospital he would be safe at night in here. Or at least that’s what he thought anyway. After all if he went missing from his hospital bed in the middle of the night someone would notice, and wonder where he was surly wouldn’t they?
But maybe ‘they’ wouldn’t find him here anyway, maybe if ‘they’ went looking for him tonight at his flat, and discovered his bed to be empty, ‘they’ would just give up and not try to find him, and leave him alone? Or at least that is what he was hoping for, or at least that is what he thought anyway.
Dirty Chris had never told anyone, what had happened to him, or rather what was still happening to him. First of all he thought that people would never believe him, and yes Dirty Chris could well understand that. Or if they did believe him he would be sectioned under the 1968 mental health act, and again he couldn’t blame them for that either.
Of course if he ever did get married he would have to tell his wife what to expect, or rather warn his wife what could, and what would happen to him at some stage during the night?
However now he could think about it no longer, because he could see Dirty Mary walking back into the ward carrying a square pizza box in her hands.
“So Chris did they say how long you’re in here for?”
“Maybe after the doctors have been round tomorrow, they’ll say I can go home?”
“Ah that’s good news, text me tomorrow when you know and if they let you home, I’ll pop round and see you after I finish work okay, or if not, I’ll come and visit you here okay?”
“Yes, well yes okay, but just as long as you promise to leave you’re whip at home and please bring me food okay?”
“Yes, yes, I promise I will okay, no really I mean it I will!”

​Copyright© by John P. Smith all rights reserved​.