Lost Souls by John P. Smith by author John Smith

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About the book; Lost souls
This story tells the tale of a small group of mental patients who find themselves left behind after their hospital closes. And it just goes to show that even disturbed people do have the basic instincts to be able to survive on their own. This story in any shape or form does not intend to make fun of mental illness, which is an illness, and is very real, and it’s also true to say, that mental illness will affect 1 in 4 people in their life time. Thankfully most people will make a full recovery.

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Lost Souls by famous author John P. Smith Cover by author John Smith

Chapter One
Severalls Asylum Colchester
Why Kate or Katie was looking at her watch, she or he didn’t know, if in fact she was a she, maybe it was just out of habit, and old habits do die hard, or so we are led to believe anyway, or so we are told. Maybe instead of looking at the time, Kate or Katie should have been looking at the calendar. Well if in fact Kate or Katie still had a calendar, which in fact she didn’t. But even if she did, it would have told her or him nothing.
How Long Kate or Katie had been sitting here for, she or he, had no idea; she also had no idea of how many times in the past, had she also sat in this every same chair. This time however she was alone in this small room. Seated on this same hard wooden seat, before this same hard wooden table. The only difference was, this time she was alone in this room. But that is not to say Kate or Katie minded being alone, because she or he didn’t, in fact Kate or Katie preferred her or his own company. Because with Kate or Katie, what you saw is not what you got, no pretty or fancy wrapping paper.
But for now, it was just Kate who had long since forgotten what had first disgruntled and disillusioned her, and what had first begun to turn her against her fellow beings. Maybe it was the lies that they tried to bombard her with, lies that they made up, to try and protect themselves with. Lies to make them look better, than what they really were, Lies to hide behind, lies to try to hide the truth. But of course they could lie to other people, and a lot of people would be fooled by their lies, and a lot of people would be fooled into believing they were better people than they tried to make out that they were. Kate however was not fooled by this, and why should she be, for deep down she knew what was true, and what wasn’t true, and what was right and what wasn’t right.
However it was not just people who Kate was disgruntled and disillusioned with, it was also God himself. What Kate could not understand was, and in fact, like a lot of other people was, why did God allow such bad people and bad things to go on in his world, in Gods world. Kate began to get confused when she would read one thing in the Holy Bible, which she knew to be true. So was it any wonder when the so called men of God would contradict, or try and contradict the true words written the bible. They would try and twist the words written in the Holy Bible to fit in with their life of unprintable abominations. Like when she had read from the Holy Bible, Timothy chapter one; verse 6,
Some have departed from these and have turned to meaningless talk. 7 They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm. We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. 9 We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, 10 for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine 11 that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.
So why oh why, Kate would think to herself are gay’s, who are an abomination in the eyes of God, allowed to teach his words or laws? Yes teaching false words and false laws agreed, but teaching as false profits have done in the pass, and who will continue to due so in the future, nonetheless. After all Kate had never heard of a gay Pastor or Minister of religion before now. And to her credit she could not understand why God allowed it. Of course she would have to wait until her judgement day. Because on that day, on judgement day, each and every one of us will be able to ask God anything at all. And we can all guess at Kate’s question, which will be to ask God, Why do you allow gay’s to preach your word, and to teach your laws?
“Katie, oh Katie, where are you Katie?” I called out, and at the same time I peeped around the open doorway, and I saw Kate sitting there on the wooden chair all alone in that dim cold dirty room. Of course before the NHS closed this mental Hospital, this doctor’s room was brightly lit, was nice and warm, and clean. But not now, most of the windows had been smashed, the floor was littered with patients notes, old newspapers, magazines, ashtrays and butt ends. However when this mental Hospital was first opened in 1903 it was of a modern state of the art design. When this Hospital was filled to capacity it held up to 1800 patients. When I saw her sitting there I called out, “Katie, I see you, I see you Katie.” And it was true because I did see her sitting there on that hard wooden chair. Katie slowly turned her head in my direction, however from her mannerisms I failed to realize whether or not she was pleased to see me. However I did reason if Katie wanted to be the leader, if Katie wanted to be in charge of us, well then she had to put up with people finding her. Wherever she maybe, or whatever she may well be doing. And now of course, there were only four of us left here anyway. Everyone else, the doctors and the nurses, were long gone. And I would have been long gone as well, except that Katie wouldn’t let me go. Of course I did try and make myself small, and hide in one of the darkest corners, but it didn’t work, she still found me. And when everyone else was leaving I couldn’t because I was tied up to a radiator in the female shower room. Where I did try and keep small and quiet, because if a nurse had found me there, well then that would have earned me a black and blue beating, and that’s for sure. What I didn’t realize was not only were all the doctors and nurses leaving also all the patients were leaving as well. After everyone else had left, there were a lot more of us than just four, I’m guessing at least about twelve or even twenty. But Katie in her wisdom had put paid to that, now we were down to just four of us. The strange thing was, most of the other patients when they were here, spent most of their time trying to escape. But when Katie had the chance to escape she didn’t want to, and what’s more she didn’t want me to escape either, (like it was as if we were both joined at the hip or something) well me and about twenty others.

I think the fact that everyone needs to realize is, the fact everyone needs to remember is, Kate or Katie or I, or in fact any of us, patients past and present, were not here by choice, they or us, were here through illness. Agreed an unseen illness, but an illness nonetheless, mental illness will not show up on an x-ray, it will only manifest itself through a persons behaviour. Regardless of whether or not it was good or bad behaviour from that person. And just like a broken leg, if you have never experienced a broken leg then you don’t know what’s its like. The same is true of mental illness if you have never experienced a mental illness before, well then you don’t know what its like, and how could you know what its like, because you have never ever experienced it before. Like depression just because you can’t see it, it doesn’t mean its not there. Someone who has never had depression will just say “all you have to do is snap out of it” but they say that because they have never had it. If they had, had it before well then they would not ever say that. Of course I had not always been ill, in fact I started out as sane as you are, and I had led a normal life, well up to a point, anyway. Until that was the rising prices of everything started rising higher and faster than our wages were. What you need to remember was, the prices of everything, food, electric, gas, council tax, water rates, petrol, road tax, insurance, all of which were rising out of control. In fact the cost of everything was rising, everything in fact except our wages, which remained the same? Now I didn’t know who was insane me or the government, to allow prices to rise quicker than our wages? However the doctors decided it was me who was insane and not in fact the government, who I thought it, was. The thought never even entered my mind for one minute, that maybe the doctors were in fact, as insane, as or maybe even more insane than the government was. So maybe it was the government who should have been sectioned instead of me. However, whoever it was who should have been sectioned, well now it’s too late, because rightly or wrongly they sectioned me, which is how I found myself to be in here in the first place.

Now Kate or, Katie even if I do say so myself, she is insane, I mean who in their right mind would walk around all day with a coffee mug tied to their wrist with a shoelace? It was not so bad when we had electricity, when we had lights, when we had heating, even hot water, but those days were long gone, we have none of those things now. We are here and we were here all alone and we just have to survive the best way, and the only way that we could. And of course we did have nurses to keep Katie under control, but now they are gone, and no one keeps Katie under control, which is why there is only four of us left now, and what happened to the others, well stick with me and I’m sure we will find out, and maybe even find their bodies as well somewhere, sooner or later along the way.

Now as I stood in the doorway, Katie looked at me and said “ah there you are my little loyal soldier; you would never ever leave your Katie now would you?” I looked at Katie and at the dirty grey tracksuit that she was wearing, which did seem to match her short mousy colour hair. And I did have to wonder to myself when was the last time it was washed, the tracksuit and her hair I’m talking about. Not that I would dare to ask her such a question like that one. No sir asking questions like that would be sure to earn me a beating, and a bad beating as well. Some questions were best left unasked, and that question was one of those. My real name of course was not loyal soldier, which is just what Katie used to call me sometimes when she happened to be in a good mood, my real name was Raymond Tuttlebee, or Ray for short, and this is how I ended up here in this old abandoned mental hospital.

A horror story by the famous author John P. Smith cover by author john smith

On Sale from Amazon in Paperback or Kindle edition. By the author John P. Smith

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About the book; by the author john p smith, First Authentic Mars Pioneers

We now have the technology to reach the planet of Mars, we also have the technology to enable us to build mission style buildings with all mod cons to enable us to live on Mars. However the trip to Mars will take about 6 to 9 months and, this will put a lot of people off, but it is a one way ticket, once there, there is no coming back!

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Introduction
Year 2011
The full page advert on page 6 in every national newspaper up and down the country on that cold frosty, Monday morning read.
‘Pioneers Wanted to be the first settlers on Mars to build the very first Mar’s colony’
The advert went on to say,
‘This is not a joke and this is not something out of a science fiction story, it really is true. Volunteers or pioneers are needed to become the first people ever to inhabit the very first of its kind, Mars colony. However it is a one way ticket, those who are lucky enough to be chosen will never return home again to the earth. The one way trip will take about 6 to 9 months, and once landed, the pioneers will build their own Mars mission hut type homes, which will be equipped with all mod cons. Full training, will be given to enable pioneers to build these homes before they take off to start their new life on Mars.
Are you between the ages of 30 and 40 years old? you like adventure? Do you get on well with people? Do you have plenty of common sense?
Personal from the armed forces need not apply. Applications are open to both male and female candidates. If you meet the above criteria please use this free phone telephone No. 0800 7677678, and ask for an application form.

Chapter One

Willie Lee Carter, of course Willie Lee Carter was not my real name, well Carter was my real name, but Willie Lee was not my real Christian name. Maybe if I had been born in the good old USA, then maybe it could have been. But I wasn’t, I was born in this God forsaken country which once was called Great Britain. And to be fair it was once great, in fact Great Britain led the world in engineering and manufacturing. The down fall of Great Britain were the idiots, and the arrogant, and the greedy, members of governments who over the years together with the also arrogant and greedy bankers had bled Britain dry, in fact to the point of bankruptcy. In fact Britain was so destitute it could no longer even afford to maintain even the most basic of our armed forces. My real Christian name was Mark, and I now read the advert over again, for one more time; I checked the date on the top of the newspaper to make sure it was not April the first. I next wondered if it was a scam, the advert did say it was a free phone number, however I had heard of people who had dialled these so called free phone numbers before, and they were charged £300 for doing so. I was first given the name Willie Lee by my first ever real girl friend she had once called me, Willie Lee after watching a film called ‘Thelma and Louise’ and it had stuck. Now at my age of 38 I was much too long in the tooth to be caught out by these scams, I had done this, I had been there, and I had the tee shirt to prove it. In fact the very same tee shirt that I happened to be wearing today, in fact the very same tee shirt that had not been washed for about three weeks, that’s what I was guessing anyway. Of course this was not by choice, because when you find yourself homeless, find yourself sleeping rough, and find yourself sleeping in shop door ways, covered up with cardboard boxes and old newspapers trying to keep warm, you have no washing machine. Of course I had not always been a hobo, I had not always been a down and out, and you could say I was a victim of the times. And by that I mean my wife and I were just living beyond our means. The cost of running a home, running a car, the high cost of council tax, even the monthly shopping bills all added up to more than we were both earning. Which at first was not worrying, you would have to use a credit card to buy petrol with, and then use it for shopping, every now and again. Which was fine of course until the card was full, and the credit was exhausted. So I did the only thing I could do, of course I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but it was the only thing I could do. And that was to apply for another credit card, which of course was fine for a while until the credit on that card was also exhausted. The final straw came one cold dark winters morning, in February we needed petrol for the car to get to work with, as we were both paid monthly which, was just another way greedy company’s exploited employees, by paying them monthly, because when a month had five weeks in it, you had to work for free for a week, because you were still only paid four weeks pay. Our bank account was in the red and the credit cards were all full, which meant we could not afford to buy petrol, and therefore could not get to work. As far as my marriage was concerned this was the last straw, this was the final nail in the coffin. Okay to be fair everything in the garden had not been rosy for some time now, I had lost all interest in sex, long ago, which made Teresa, now my ex think I no longer loved her, which in fact was not true. “Willie Lee” she said to me on that cold dark winter’s morning in February “the car needs petrol otherwise we can’t get to work.” “Yes” I replied “I know, but we are overdrawn at the bank, the credit cards are full and are being refused, where am I going to get the money from, for petrol, you just tell me that please?” But of course she couldn’t, she then went into one, and said, “well I for one are fed up with being skint all the time, and I have decided I am moving out, and I’m moving back in with my mother, besides since my father died that house is far to big for just her and the dog. The house of course will have to be sold, and we can split the money fifty, fifty.” I then replied “well that’s all very fine and dandy for you, but where do you think I’m going to live?” To which she replied “well Willie Lee, I don’t really care where you live, you can live in a shop doorway for all I care.” That’s what she told me, and she meant it too. So instead of Teresa going to work that day, she spent the day packing, and when she had finish packing whatever she wanted, she packed it all into the back our car and she drove off into the sunset. She did argue that the car was hers, when in fact it did belong to the finance company, but to her credit she did pay the instalments. However what she forgot was, it was I who paid for the service every 10,000 miles and the nearly £600 per month for petrol. As for selling the house we didn’t get that far, because before we could our bank, which would advertise itself as being the ‘listening bank’ didn’t listen to our late payment excuses and they applied for a repossession court order. When I phoned my employers and told them I would not be in to work today, because I could not afford to buy petrol, they also did listen. And when they had finished listening they told me, “well Mark if you don’t come into work today that’s fine, but don’t bother to come in tomorrow either, in fact you can consider yourself fired.” And so I found myself jobless, homeless and wifeless all in the same week. Of course the good thing about being homeless was all the credit card company’s and the energy company’s and the council, and even the BBC television licence authority had no address to sent all their threatening demands to, and in my defence I didn’t even own a television set so why on earth would I want to pay for a bloody television licence? I did take some comfort from the fact that all my creditors would be spending money to take me to court, and all the court papers would be sent to an empty house. And when I did not turn up in court well then, they could issue a warrant for my arrest, but as I had no money anyway they were all wasting their time and money, and therefore they could all bloody well sod off.
I had taken a room at the Colchester YMCA but it was only temporary, and my days were spent sitting in abandoned shop doorways, with on old cap in front of me begging passers by for ‘any loose change.’ And so this is where I found myself sitting in an old abandoned shop doorway reading the newspaper advert over again with ever mounting interest. After all I told myself what was there for me here, no job, no wife, and no home. At least on Mars there will be no bloody council tax or VAT, hell we won’t need wages because there will be nothing to buy, nothing to spend your money on. I decided I would head on back to the YMCA and use the phone on the front desk when no one was looking and ask for an application form. I picked up the half full cap, and started to wonder, long ago someone had told me “Willie Lee get yourself a dog, a dog will increase your takings by at least 50%.” I decided if I didn’t get the Mars Job, I would definitely get myself a starved looking dog.
When I arrived back at the YMCA I needed a diversion the security person sitting behind the front desk looked really bored. As I walked past him he looked up “hello mate” I said cheerfully I did not wait for him to reply, and just went walking on by. In the day room I found the old bag lady Beryl. “Beryl” I said, “want to earn yourself some change, I need a diversion I need to use the phone on the front desk, can you help me please?” Beryl gave me a toothless grin, and asked “how long for Willie Lee?” “Five minutes max” I replied, “no problem how about a diabetic having a fit, will that do, I can do that, and I can make it pretty realistic as well, how much change you got?” I handed over all the change I had, again she gave me that toothless grin, before saying, “Okay Willie Lee for this much change I will even piss my pants as well, that makes it really realistic looking, and I can do it, just to make it more realistic you understand.” With out another word she jumped up from her chair and landed in a heap in the middle of the floor and started to shake and tremble all over. I rushed from the day room and headed towards the front desk shouting, “QUICK, QUICK SOMEONE HELP” The security person looked at me and rose up from his chair. “What, what’s wrong?” He asked “In the day room it’s Beryl she’s having some kind of fit or something.” That’s what I told him anyway, the security person rushed past me on his way to the day room; as soon as he was out of sight I picked up the phone and dialled the so called free phone number. Now I still to this day didn’t know whether it was a free phone number or not, however I left my name and address, and the female operator promised to send me an application form, through the post.

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